Disintegrate

 

It starts out small 

an anomaly, a mild aberration off the ideal reference 

something you ate, something you didn’t 

maybe it's how much you move or didn’t 

it's the stress you say

you continue, you eat, move and live right to the right you know best 

and then it's a tear, an organ on the verge of failure.

You can still save it, they say

just some pills, dietary changes 

MOVE YOU MUST 

but you don’t, your annoyance with the world has earned you a cake 

your annoyance with your husband has earned you a tub of ice-cream

your defeated children earn you your fried up breakfast 

now its 2 organs on the verge of failure

You can still save it, they say

a few procedures, dietary changes 

MOVE YOU MUST

but you don’t, It's my legs, am too tired, where do I go 

I have no friends 

your insecurities earn you a lazy day in bed, a week even, a month perhaps… let's make that a year 

your fears of the unknown keep you with the familiar

you spend your days with the “Could have been’s” 

too late now, I could’ve found love, I could’ve travelled the world, I could’ve danced

now it’s 3 organs, that’s the charm you know 

the third bell that brings you in

the third rap to sentence your deeds 

the third that won’t save the two 

it’s your mind, medical induced psychiatric disorders 

it’s a dog trying to catch its tail. 

MOVE YOU MUST 

Dear mother, I’ve seen you physically and mentally break a little every day 

Its the graduation I missed nursing your hysterectomy 

It's the marriage I walked into to nurse your ego

it's the job I quit to nurse your non-functioning kidneys and lungs 

it’s a matter of time they say

It’ll all come to an end, be patient, find a healer

learn to let go. 

Dear Mother, MOVE YOU MUST

but you can't.